


And Now I’m All Alone

by QueenAnnaKenobi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Broken Friendship, F/M, Gen, Loneliness, Sad Darth Vader, but it's all vader's fault, clone wars feels, the dark side isn't all that great, the end of the clone wars still hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenAnnaKenobi/pseuds/QueenAnnaKenobi
Summary: Darth Vader reflects on the decisions he's made and how it affected the people he once loved.
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker (mentioned), Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker (mentioned)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	And Now I’m All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what my deal is...I like reading happy, funny, fluffy fics, but yet I keep writing angst. Happy for deep people? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Enjoy my CW finale feels!

_In your anger, you killed her._

The words echoed in Vader’s mind, filling him with an all too familiar sense of anguish.

Palpatine had _lied_ to him. He hadn’t given Vader the power to save Padmé. Padmé, his beloved wife, the mother of his child, the woman for whom he would do literally anything, was gone.

_In your anger, you killed her._

Padmé was dead, their child with her.

Obi-Wan had betrayed him and left him for dead.

Master Yoda had disappeared.

Palpatine had lied.

Turning to the dark side hadn’t given him everything he’d ever wanted. He’d _had_ family and friends before. True, his trust in Obi-Wan had been somewhat shaky after the Rako Hardeen incident, and after the way the Council had treated Ahsoka, he had only truly still trusted Master Yoda and Master Plo, but up until the end of the war, they had still been his family.

_It is the only way to save Padmé._

Vader had known what he was doing when he marched into the Temple and slaughtered the Jedi, even down to the younglings who had trusted and respected him. He’d known it was wrong. But Palpatine had convinced him it was the only way. Only by fully immersing himself in the dark side would he become strong enough to save Padmé.

He could still hear their screams.

He had ended the war, though. He had brought peace to the Empire. He _was_ the only member of the Jedi Order who had not betrayed the Chancellor-turned-Emperor.

But Palpatine had lied to him.

Vader’s entire reason for turning to the dark side, for pledging himself to Darth Sidious, was gone.

_In your anger, you killed her._

Hadn’t he been warned about anger since he was a padawan? Was it possible the Jedi were correct in that regard?

No. His anger made him powerful. If only he could draw on it more strongly, more consistently, then perhaps he would be able to forget the gnawing guilt and wracking anguish that ravished him.

For truly, Obi-Wan’s betrayal _hurt_. He’d once thought of the man as a father, as a beloved older brother. But Obi-Wan would not stand by his side when it truly mattered. He had turned Padmé against Vader, causing him to—

Master Plo was dead. Yoda was gone. And for what?

Vader had nothing left. No wife, no child, no brother, no…sister.

Ahsoka.

Her name had been on the official list of fallen Jedi, but he hadn’t felt her death any more than he had felt Obi-Wan’s. It was possible, he supposed, that with all the anguish in the Force at the time he could have missed feeling it, but he didn’t think that was likely. He also couldn’t imagine Rex actually gunning her down.

He would find her, and the rest of the 501st. Ahsoka would join him, surely she would. She had been disillusioned by the Jedi herself, had refused to come back. She would surely not hold these actions against him, not against her old master who only wanted to save Padmé.

Together, he and Ahsoka could take Palpatine, he knew they could. They would destroy the lying Sith, exact justice for Padmé, and make the galaxy the way it truly ought to be. The galaxy had wronged Ahsoka as much as it had Vader.

And truly, she was the only one who might be left to him. He needed her.

It took a long time to find where Ahsoka’s ship came down. It was on a remote moon, covered in ice and snow. Her presence was cold, but he knew she’d been there. At one time, she’d been there.

He strode out of his imperial shuttle, his cloak billowing behind him. She may not have been there now, but surely he would find clues as to her whereabouts. He was supposed to be eliminating all Jedi who survived the Purge. Sidious ought to suspect nothing if he were to count this mission as more of the same. Sidious would never know what was coming until it was too late.

Vader hadn’t felt like smiling since that fateful day on Coruscant, but he almost felt like smiling at the thought of finding Ahsoka. At the thought of giving Sidious what he deserved for all his lies and manipulation. But mostly at the thought of simply seeing his little sister again.

He was so lonely, with only his anger and hatred to keep him company. He’d always been such a social person, making friends wherever he went. As Darth Vader, he couldn’t be friends with anyone. He couldn’t rely on anyone. He had to remain intimidating and authoritative, which, considering the suit he wore due to Obi-Wan’s betrayal, wasn’t difficult.

Once he had Ahsoka back, however, he would no longer be alone. She would join him, and in spite of his suit and Sith demeanor and reputation, he would give her that hug he’d longed to give last time he’d seen her. All he wanted was for her—the only family he had left—to be safe and well and by his side.

And then he saw it. The helmets, many of them still painted with Ahsoka’s facial markings, barely visible in the snow. The 501st. Were they all gone? Every one that he had sent to Mandalore with Ahsoka? There were so many. Was even Rex gone? Even…

It was as if it was calling to him.

He stooped down, dug in the snow, and pulled out a lightsaber that was far too familiar to him.

_Ahsoka._

He straightened, cradling the weapon in his hand. She’d constructed it, he’d modified it, he’d given it back to her. And now it had lain in the snow likely ever since Order 66.

He ignited the blue blade. The familiar hum filled the air. He stared at it, remembering. Trying not to remember.

She was his last link to Anakin Skywalker, to who he was before. And now she too was gone.

All he had left was darkness, anger, pain, hatred. There was nothing to live for, except to hope that one day he would be able to overthrow the man who had deceived him into losing everything. Vengeance for the deaths of all those he had once loved. He would survive on that anger and hatred. It was the only way.

He deactivated Ahsoka’s lightsaber, but continued to hold it, holding onto the last bit that he had left of his former padawan.

Because without her, he truly was alone.


End file.
